Somatic Work and Authenticity
The fullness of living.
Hello, my name is Elena, I am a certified Somatic Coach and a Yoga teacher (amongst other things…).
And I believe that life is absolutely beautiful.
And no, I don’t mean the kind of rainbow wonderland style where every day is sunny and easy, and happy.
My life has never been like that. I don’t think anyone’s is. Maybe sometimes.
But for the majority of our time here, we are thrown into a wild ride of ups and downs, laughters and tears, beyond sky highs and below-earth lows.
And it’s true for all of us. The variety of life experience is what is real on this plane.
I am fascinated by the range of emotion we are able to feel, and the depth of human capacity to understand, assimilate, and change our internal landscape, if we choose to.
And I see hope in that.
Hope to see us growing in the presence of struggle. Hope to see us using our ability to feel so deeply to get in touch with our authenticity. Hope to see us moving through our pain with open eyes to strive towards the life we really want to live, where we are home in ourselves.
Where we own it, with all its imperfections.
I believe we all deserve to live happily, and I am here to hold space for you with patience and optimism, so we’ll all get there.
See you on the other side?
Love,
Elena.
Why Bendyminds exists
A couple of years ago, I made a radical change in my life.
I had a safe job as an architect, taught Yoga on the side, was in a long-term relationship and lived in a neat little apartment in the city. On paper, my life looked pretty good, and what I back in the days called “successful”.
Except there was one thing missing. I wasn’t happy.
I felt this subtle undertone of dissatisfaction, daily little reminders that the life I am living is “good”, but it is not for me.
I thought this is just how life is, and that I had to mold myself into the circumstances presented to me. I believed that “enduring” long enough in an environment that doesn’t really fit me would eventually relieve the pressure and allow me to be at ease again.
I walked into the trap of holding on to all the things that were known to me, even though I noticed clearly I am called to let go, and move on. I bought into the concept of staying with a familiar pain, out of fear of the “something” unknown. I managed to talk myself out of following that inner voice, and convinced myself that I am doing “the right thing”, and that taking care of myself means not making a fuss and break my safe little bubble that I lived in.
The ideas that I had for my life seemed pretty cliche to me:
I wanted to do work that is purposeful to me, and provides me with secure and sustainable income.
At the same time I wanted more freedom to actually enjoy my life, instead of just spending my time sitting at a desk in a stressful environment.
And to make things complicated, I did not know exactly what this freedom would actually look like.
It seemed like I am wanting two opposing things, and I labeled myself as an unrealistic dreamer.
Pull yourself together.
I followed common advice to “pull myself together” and tried to continue enduring increasing states of stress. The job that I was working in had interesting projects and wonderful colleagues, but the high pressure from too tight deadlines and unrealistic expectations kept nagging at me.
Being a patient and resourceful person, I tried to make my way through by prioritising my physical fitness regimes, eating healthy, and taking unpaid holidays for extended trips to India to further study Yoga.
I though I’ll get by.
It was only two years into my first corporate job that I experienced my first anxiety attack. It hit me out of nowhere, thinking I am a healthy, calm person (so did everyone else who knew me).
I drifted into a two year-period of continuous anxiety and hypochondria. Panic would hit me in the middle of the day and it seemed like none of my tools was working.
Doctors would diagnose me with anxiety disorder and send me home with the advice to “try some Yoga”.
Turned out my strategy of numbing and avoiding didn’t work anymore.
I realized I have a choice to make.
I could continue to just “get by”, or take active responsibility for my well-being and change the way I am interacting with life.
If you don’t take care of yourself, no one will.
What sounded harsh at first turned out to be the most healthy advice I ever got.
I realized that what looked like self-care was in fact the act of numbing myself to not feel the pain. I started to understand that continuing to live a “wrong” life was my Nervous System’s attempt to fawn myself into safety.
And I saw with shocking clarity that when all systems crashed, and I ceased to function properly, no one around me could really be there to help me.
I noticed how the society around us encourages the behaviour of self-denial.
The main focus nowadays is mostly on productivity. We want our businesses to thrive, the money to flow and the work to get done. But how important is the person behind the job?
The realization got me angry.
A good kind of angry in hindsight. An anger that got me moving, and question what is actually happening. With me. What is happening to the person who chooses to break out of what is known and tested? The person who actively takes care of themselves, radically, as if their lives depended on it?
The pressure got so high that I was forced to change my perspective and seek a different solution.
I took a radical step back and made a few major life decisions. I quit my job, left my relationship, and moved away from the city I lived in. I literally gave up everything that I thought identifies me, in order to make a fresh start.
I was determined to find the root of my stress disorder. I digged deep into my different fields of experiences, ranging from Yoga, neuroscience, Shiatsu, astrology to subconscious Inner Child reconciliation. I took a wild ride in all kinds of self-study and self-work, looking for the missing piece.
It’s the struggle and the pain that made me become a coach.
I founded Bendyminds in the middle of my personal storm, from a little café in Portugal, during the peak of the break-down. It was a phase of deconstruction, burning the old, shedding. It was during that time of peak pain that I felt the need to connect the dots for others.
When you walk through fire, might as well leave a path behind for others to follow through, no?
It is a path I learned to love over the years. The trail that got me to being here today, having made my way out of the heat, and having collected tools on the way that might help you get through a little smoother.
I have managed to befriend my anxiety and it never came back. I have transitioned from corporate into self-employment, found a more aligned partnership, and moved to my favourite country. My life is not perfect, but it is a life I choose and love, consciously.
Today, I am here to meet darkness with lightheartedness, and hold a safe space for everyone who is ready to go on their own journey.
If you are feeling the pain, you are not alone. It is part of our development and appears as our well-meaning friend when we need it. And if you are ready to face it and see what it has to show you, you are certainly in for a ride.
And if you like some company for all of that, you are in the right place.
Biography
Elena Orth
born in Germany, living in Portugal
Associate Certified Somatic Coach (ACC) with The Somatic School , credentialed by the International Coaching Federation (ICF)
Master of Arts in Architecture, with 10+ years of experience in corporate environments and large scale housing projects
650h Yoga trainings, including Ashtanga, Vinyasa, Yin and Rocket Yoga with Sampoorna Yoga, Markus Henning Giess and David Kyle
Yoga teacher, Retreat facilitator and Teacher Training Instructor (Vinyasa Lead) in India, Sri Lanka, Germany and Portugal
Zen-Shiatsu training with Schule für Shiatsu, Hamburg
Reiki Level II training with Gamini Gunaratne, Colombo
case studies on including the technique of Experiential Focusing after Eugene Gendlin in physical bodywork / “How can somatic awareness on existing (chronic) pain effectively support the process of releasing tension in a Shiatsu session”